An email to Sajid Javid MP

I just received an email from Sajid Javid MP about the new Conservative notion that liberalizing the pensions market is just what this country needs to further inflate the property bubble and get older people spending money, as they’re the only people who seem to have any. He wanted me to sign a petition seemingly to get the government to do something that they’re going to do anyway, which seems to me a total waste of bandwidth.

Recently I’ve been getting a lot of these emails from Tory MPs. I’m utterly at a loss as to why they choose to write to me. After all, I’m not Conservative supporter. Then I remembered I took part in a survey a little while ago, where I was given the opportunity of expressing my opinion on a range of Conservative policies. This is the survey that has recently been exposed as nothing more than an attempt to compile a database.

Usually such communications would get a stiff ignoring. As anyone who knows me will probably tell you, I’d sooner piss blood than vote Conservative (and having recently had kidney stones, I know what I’m talking about). Anyway, I chose on this occasion to reply, and this is what I wrote

Dear Mr Javid,

Thank you for your email.

As I am the kind of entrepreneurial self-employed striver you identify as being key to the economic security of the country, maybe you’d like to take a look at my “pension plan”, to wit; the songs that I release as part of my career as a freelance songwriter, musician and music consultant. You will find my latest material here- and my back catalogue can be obtained via iTunes-

Whilst incredibly grateful for the increase in the personal income tax allowance in the last budget, I can’t help feeling that a much more useful tax cut to people on low incomes would be a reduction in VAT. I also feel, by way of an aside, that since the only years I qualified to pay the higher rate of income tax were under a Labour government and that since the coming to power of the Coalition my actual income (as opposed to turnover) has plummeted year on year, I can’t associate your party or its policies with feeling personally better off. Still, at least I’m not on benefits so I suppose it can be said “there’s always someone worse off than yourself”- and in the words of the great Peter Cook (in the voice of Harold Macmillan) “it is the policy of the Conservative party to see that this position is maintained”.

Wishing you a pleasant evening- andy lewis

PS Did you get my email address through that survey from a few weeks’ back?

PPS Tell Grant Shapps that I STILL don’t remember him from WBGS.


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